Seriously, how many frogs am I going to have to kiss before I find someone that’s worth my time??

Oh man.. I’m the only Hispanic in my Photographic Strategies class. This is both uplifting and depressing. Why do things like these still happen?! Yesterday I overheard someone talking about how when their mom was in college, she was one three women in her engineering class. Today at UCSD, I still see this happening. The only difference is that instead of gender, it’s now racial barriers that separate us all.

It’s just creepy when someone seems overly obsessed with you. When you say that you love me, I just want to run the other way. You don’t even know me in person, how can you say that?! Stop calling me baby, and saying that you can’t stop thinking about me… You seem like a nice guy, but all of this is making you look like a total creeper.

I’m sorry, but I’m done. If you ever want to meet me, I’ll be in California. Until then, have a happy life. I’m sick of waiting, I deserve more than this.

Mazatlan, Mexico in a week. I cannot wait to get away for a little bit. Family, sightseeing, Christmas, the beach! I hope not too many things change while I am away. It’s funny, it always seems like I want to leave, but like a magical magnetic attraction something always seems to pull me back. A few weeks away will be more than enough to get my mind cleared up. Change is good.

There was a time when I thought that being single and not having a boyfriend was a curse. “What’s wrong with me? Am I missing something? Do I have loser written on my forehead? Am I intimidating? Too shy? Not attractive enough? WHAT IS IT?!” Every time I saw a picture-perfect couple cross my path, holding hands and wearing bright smiles I felt like crawling in my couch and watching chick flicks all day… Maybe if I put myself in the shoes of the main character I’d be able to experience the closest thing I’d ever have to love, even if it’s just for the 2.5 hrs of staring at my TV. Until recently I learned that the best things in life come when you least expect them. I learned that hard way that neither prayer, alluring chants nor a 11:11 wish will ever do the trick, it’s finally all in destiny’s hands. Well, I must also add that it’s also important to make sure to look both ways before crossing the street, you never know what you might miss when you never turn around… Life might not always be as obvious as we’d like. 

It is a definite fact that I need to get out more, that I pretty much don’t have a life, and that I tend to run away from the things that scare me; whether it be a tarantula or someone that loves me. However, all these things were not obstacles when I met that one person that I could picture myself with for ages… Love at first sight? Infatuation at first sight? Lust at first sight? All of the above? MAYBE. It was the most random and unexpected encounter, in the most awkward circumstance, but it still happened. And although things might not have quite worked out, I am still optimistic. Even more so than before I met him. I just wish time was on my side, that I could help him battle that horrid disease that is stopping his whole life from moving forward. If not, I wish I could have met him sooner. Maybe then, he could let me play a major role in his life, offering a listening ear and a warm hand. In the end, I go back to the same place I started, and try to convince myself that all things happen for a reason, and that finally it will all work out… 

The hardest thing is realizing that although we weren’t together anymore, I never really left, because my heart stayed with you all along.